Needy
by Her Sweetness
Summary: Hold me, wrap me up. Unfold me, I am small... and needy. Mello x Near.


Title: _Needy_

Rating: _T_

Summary: _Hold me, wrap me up. Unfold me, I am small... and needy. Mello x Near._

A/N: _Well, I just thought I ought to try my hand at doing some Death Note angst or… you know, tragedy. Hope I didn't do too badly. I got inspired by a song._

-

_It's not true._

The walls of the corridors blurred around him. The red carpet beneath him became a distorted trail of crimson. He couldn't even tell his own feet apart anymore; they all came together and ran in streaks like the tears down his face.

_It's not true._

He heard screaming but wasn't sure if it was himself or not. The thought of the screams belonging to L crossed his mind as he slammed open the door to his room and slammed it shut again. But no, L would never die screaming. He was so detached from his clients, his successors, even his own body. So he couldn't feel it even if Kira really had gotten him… Of course, Kira hadn't. What Roger said was a lie. A complete lie. It _was not _true.

His blonde hair stuck to his face by means of the salty tears. The room, empty, was serene and quiet. Like L during his death, he thought. But that wasn't true, L didn't die so there had been no quiet death and there should not be any quiet in the room. Losing himself in this thought, Mello filled the room with the last of his breath, a pained cry like an animal caught in a trap, shaky and confused with misery.

It was a half hour before a pale body appeared outside of the room. Near stood at the closed door and stared at the knob. He wasn't sure what he had come to do but he was here all the same and refused to go back to his puzzles and games before doing…

Something?

_What can I accomplish here_, he wondered dimly and lifted his hand to knock. He heard nothing and after half a minute, he was going to repeat the noise but heard a voice from inside. He couldn't make out what it had said but took his chances by opening the door anyway, taking a timid step inside.

He suddenly wished he had gone back to his toys and puzzles.

The window looking out into the front yard of the estate was shattered, most of the glass on the carpet, gleaming in the sun. Everything on the shelves had fallen to the floor, most of the things broken and the unbreakable ones were badly damaged. The sheets and blankets and pillows were thrown off the beds, laying in disarray on the floor and Mello sat in the middle of it all, his back to the door rising and falling rapidly as if he were breathing irregularly. His bleeding hands clutched at a sheet and stained it red.

"Get out."

Near never heard such venom in two words.

"Mello-"

"Leave." His voice cracked.

Near said nothing, stood still, and closed the door behind him.

Mello whirled his head around, crimson wiped over his cheeks in an angry smear. His face was wet from a mixture of saliva, tears and blood. The look in his eyes made Near step back again, hitting the back of his head on the closed door.

"There's no one to blame but Kira."

When Near said that, Mello rose and came to him, stepping softly over the covers. He held his head down and pushed Near with his body even further into the door. Mello held his head into the crook of Near's neck, breathing heavily, until his hands flew up and grabbed the boy around his frail neck.

Near cried out, his hands following Mello's, trying to get his hands off.

"S-Stop-"

"You heartless bastard!" he yelled, voice raw. "How could you just sit there when we found out! H-How could you just _sit there_…" He put more pressure on his neck. "What's wrong with you…"

"M…"

"_Shut up_!" He was crying again and Near would have been less afraid if Mello's eyes were dry.

Near choked, trying to twist his hands off.

"He was everything to me! I thought that under your cold exterior, he was everything to you too! I really thought that!" He squeezed harder and they both slid down the mahogany door to the carpet, Mello falling on top of the younger boy. His blonde hair fell in his eyes and some of the tears and blood shook themselves loose onto Near's pallid face. "But he was just a way for you to make it to the top… Just a way…"

Near managed to get his foot up and under Mello's stomach, kicking him off and into the dresser. Some of the drawers fell out and hit Mello but caused no cry to come from him. He looked up at Near with blood-streaked eyes.

"That's enough, Mello," Near breathed raggedly. He rubbed the side of his neck, feeling Mello's imprints. "That's enough."

Mello gave a worn out sigh, his eyes wavering. "I loved him."

"So did I."

"Liar. If you did, you couldn't just sit-"

"I'm here, aren't I?" he shouted.

Mello looked up.

"You don't have to fly off the hinges to be upset. I loved him, Mello. I want to catch Kira and bring him to justice… for his sake… That's all I know," he admitted, looking away. "I know he would be disappointed to hear me say this but catching Kira, to me, is avenging him… Now, that's all it is. I can't see righteousness anymore as long as his grave is in my eyes. All I know is the wanting to catch Kira for him. I don't understand why you wouldn't want to work with me on this…" He looked into Mello's eyes, his own gray eyes filling up with saline water. He choked back what he feared would come.

"I-" _Can't work with someone he loved more than me._

"But I won't push it. Just… for now… until you leave…" he paused. He could feel the rush of tears he tried to dam.

"What?" Mello asked quietly.

"F-For now…" _Please no._

Mello swallowed and came over on hands and knees, sitting down in front of the boy and wrapped his arms around him lightly. Near didn't fight harshly and in a moment fell into Mello's chest, his white curls brushing against Mello's chin. Mello sighed. _I'm doing this for you. This is what you wanted, isn't it?_

They sat in silence, Near working hard not to lose his composure in front of his rival and just in case he would, he kept burying his head into Mello's chest, seeming to want to become one with the blond. To melt their bodies and become one like their predecessor had wanted from them all along. Near knew that he had never wanted either of them by themselves - only both would do. He had no way to make Mello see that and the thought of letting down the only person he had ever loved seemed unbearable. Even after death, Near could not impress him enough.

He sobbed into Mello's chest, "Be my friend…"

Mello looked down at him. "W-What?"

Near pressed the other's arms around him tighter.

_He feels so small. _

"What did you say?" Mello nudged him without unwrapping his arms. "Near?"

"_Be my friend_," he cried. "U-Until you leave here, stay by my side." The tears were coming so fast. "Make me _part_ of you, Mello." Sobbing so hard it was difficult to make his words out. "It's what he would've wanted… But no matter how upset either of us are, he can't come back… He's _gone_, Mello," he screamed, giving out and shuddering in the older boy's arms.

Mello was crying again too, quivering all over, desperate to take out his anger again on something - someone - and pushed Near down, coming on top of him and smashing their lips together in a kiss that was fumbled from inexperience and wet from tears and sour from dried blood. Mello's hands traveled the length of Near's body, marking him with fresh blood from the cuts in his hands and in those motions was the longing he had for his predecessor. Near responded to his opponents advances like he had so often dreamed of himself responding to raven-haired detective.

Mello's tears fell. _I love you…_

Near whimpered. _I love you…_

And neither was aware when the other whispered, "L."

-

A/N: _So, come on and tell me how I did? Please?_


End file.
